St. Thomas Orthodox Church, Adimali, Ernakulam District, Kerala was in the news! The Mangalam Daily reported a couple of days back on the funeral of a 60 year old individual, who committed suicide because he couldn’t afford treatment for his diabetes / kidney trouble. He left his family in deep sorrow.
Death is the normal end of life, but suicide is a cry for help. From the news report its is clear that he belongs to an Orthodox parish. I have some puzzling questions. Did the parish know about his condition or request? Was there any effort from the Church to help this individual in any way? Did they explore possibilities to help this family out by getting the needed medical help? Why does the Church have a Medical College and other medical establishments?
As far as I know, there are several parishes outside Kerala, including the parish that I am serving, especially in the US and Gulf countries, who are willing to help deserving and legitimate cases. So, if the diocese or the said parish did not know about such services, please update your information. If the parish has done what they could, then it is beyond anyone’s guess or control.
Secondly, this issue is opening a major theological and ethical question to all members of the Church. What are our priorities? We spent millions of rupees to celebrate a silver jubilee or reception of a bishop elect or to celebrate a palli perunnal. I am not saying such celebrations are wrong but do we have a certain amount set apart to help people and prevent his untimely death? Mr. Joy has three children.
Our ministry needs to go beyond regular house visiting to more personal relationship with families. “Parson is the person of the community” with a responsibility to attend to the “total need” of the individual and family. Every parish or diocese should have an emergency trust to help those, who are in need. If they cannot get adequate help then they should contact other parishes or dioceses, who can help. Parishes shall collect funds to help the poor before they demolish and rebuilt new churches.
If Mr. Joy’s family needs financial assistance with the education of their children, St. Thomas Community Services, 805 Glenn Parkway, Hollywood, Florida USA can partially support them through their parish. I am sure more parishes from Kerala dioceses and outside Kerala dioceses will come forward to help this family.
St Thomas Church, Adimali is under ANKAMALI DIOCESE (Telephone 0484-2624339).
Achan used to visit Joy quite often and was very helpful.Let us all pray for the family. The 40th day of demise falls on Saturday.–This information was passed by Thomas David from Kottayam. Readers may contact the church for more details _ Editor
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I have read this article and the comments given below. I have strong feeling that you wouldn’t have taken this incident to educate others before understanding the real reason. The said person was sick for more than five years and he was an amputee who needs a bystander always. His wife was totally dedicated to nurse him last 5 years and his children were giving a good mental support as much they can. He committed suicide not because he didn’t get proper medication; it is because he was under depression. He had been suffering with severe renal failure , anaemia & fluid overload for the past years, his condition worsened at the beginning of 2010 and he had been admitted 70 days ago and undergoing dialysis every alternative days. He never wanted to put his family in trouble by spending a huge amount in the hospital. I am his daughter and I will never blame my parish priest for this cause. My dad got discharged from the hospital and he had gone for holy confession and received the Holy Communion on the previous Sunday and he committed suicide after 2 days.
I have never seen till today, anybody had enquired about the family or visited them after this incident. Not even a single person from the parish. But God is great and He will never put us down. I have received tremendous metal support from others who were not belongs to my church.
Yes, You are free to discuss anything about us, We will bless you and God Bless You!
Dear Father,
I have read the article, but I think I read it after 3 years. There is a question why should I need to reply on this article. Yeah, I have all rights to reply because the article partially says about my family. The 60th (actually 56th) year old individual who committed suicide is my dearest Dad.
I won’t blame my church for not offering any financial support. Our Lord God did bless my Dad on his hard work; our family could afford the financial needs. I have seen my parents worked hard in the farm as we are farmers. We were happy to spend even our last penny for his treatments.
It was not about that. He did it after the doctors said there were no other treatments left for him. He was under so much pain. His one leg was amputated in Jan 2006, it was not cured completely even after 5 years. He felt helpless for himself. I don’t know what comes in newspaper on those days. I regret if it says we couldn’t afford the treatment. Being a journalism student, I know reporters write what the rumours, not the facts. Honestly, we didn’t receive any helps and either we didn’t ask any. Once one of the priests has said he could collect some 3000 rupees for my Dad’s treatments. We didn’t receive; my Dad did ask him to use that money for the Church only.
Please don’t think I am against my church. But, I really feel bad to see my church in such way. Because I love my church and I love being Christian. I request you to be a people’s friendly ministry, not money minded.
St: Mark 2:17 : On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Bibble says.
I can say it is all about having a great Hope in the Lord Almighty, which we haven’t learn from our church (may be we failed to understand from the teaching, otherwise my church did fail to make us realize). In my opinion, a church should spread divine words… a church should teach its members how to live in Christ and overcome our so called horrible experiences.
It takes almost 2 and half years for me to believe my Dad is no more with me. It was not that easy for me because I was Dad’s dearest one, I was his little one. I saw my world through his eyes.
Lemme say this… there was no inspiration for us to live ahead after my Dad’s death. We lived because we couldn’t do the same as my Dad did, because we were afraid of our God. After my Dad passed away, we all left unwanted in the society as nobody can imagine.
Here, 7 priests (Catholic Priests) came to our home, they came together…they came just to pray for us. They prayed for us. For the first time after my Dad passed away, somebody did ask how we are doing. It was on that June. When they left, they have left some Hope that we are not the unwanted children of Christ.
They inspired me to continue my studies. They blessed me.
All those months, nobody from my church did ask how we are. No Father (Priest) from my church did visit us. [Though, our new Vicar didn’t visit us, He used to bless and smile whenever we meets at church. I can understand how busy his life is. But, I felt bad when we needed some prayers and blessings…our home left unwanted for my church. It’s true our God didn’t left us so, that’s why he did send 7 priests to my home.)
I believe a priest is the one whom the Almighty God blessed with so much power (as it is written in St: John 20: 21- 23 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father sent me, so I send you.” “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive people’s sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”)
Those Catholic priests they taught us how to pray, how to love my church…
Lemme tell something from our personal experiences… I meant what we experienced from our own church.
I felt what is all about being Christian Orthodox. Before, I was too proud of being an Orthodox. Then, I learned it is not about being a Christian Orthodox. My Dad was one of the first 17 members of my Parish. He did give so much to the church. He did offer the altar (balipeedam) when we built the church in 1980s (before I born). He did give more that. Today, we have a new church, we demolished the old one, today we have a new altar.
Yeah, that time, we really come to know how much ignored we are in our Parish. Because my Dad committed suicide, nobody did remember him for what he did for the church when the newly built Church was Blessed. Yeah, it’s true that my Dad didn’t wish for being praised for what he did for others. (I didn’t say that He did spend lacs of rupees. I said he did what he could do.) I just said it to share, how my family was ignored by my Church. It’s painful when our own parish ignores.
“If Mr. Joy’s family needs financial assistance with the education of their children, St. Thomas Community Services, 805 Glenn Parkway, Hollywood, Florida USA can partially support them through their parish. I am sure more parishes from Kerala dioceses and outside Kerala dioceses will come forward to help this family.” Quoting the above statement, I declare that we haven’t asked any financial help and we haven’t received any. If you can pray for us, that will do more than anything. A good word is better than a thousand rupees.
I am sorry if I have hurt anyone by my words.
I replied it because I want to tell you, it’s not about offering some money. Today, I believe in Phil: 4:13 “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Phil: 4:19 “And with all his abundant wealth through Christ Jesus, my God will supply all your needs.”
We are in hunger for such promising consolation.
Sometimes, we-the normal human beings, we do expect such consolation when we fail to have Hope in life.
Thanks,
Little Daughter of Joy
Thank you all for your comments. However, please don’t read into things- there was no blame on anyone especially Bishop or the priest. It was a response to a news as indicated above.
I spoke with the diocesan office and verified the facts. Having said that, I still think church needs to extend its health care help through our institutions. Suicide prevention may be an area of training our clergy and laity need to attend.
Fr. JP
Please contact the Diocesen Bishop H.G Yuhanon Mar Policarpos to know the facts on this issue. Please don’t blame the Bishop or the Priest without knowing the facts. HG can be contacted on 0091-9447475544.
Malankara Orthodox TV has conducted an independent enquiry into this episode and did not find any thing wrong with the conduct of our clergy in this episode. Contact Joice Thottakkad to know more – 00919947120697
Tom, Mr. Saju Daniel asks for information. No one is blaming anyone, but expressing our concerns over this unfortunate incident. I appreciate Achen, who visited the family. However, was there any initiatives to help them or explain to them the alternatives to suicide? Where/how is the family, is there any thing underway, as we approach his 40th day, to support the family financially?. Celbrating his 40th day and praying for his soul are all good gestures, but what about their living conditions-food, shelter and clothing? Will there be any help? Is it a worth effort? Are his children in school or vocational training centers?
Achen, with appreciation to your pastoral care, please explore these things and see how you can mobilize some help- one family at a time.
Thanks
St Thomas Church, Adimali is under ANKAMALI DIOCESE (Telephone 0484-2624339).
Achan used to visit Joy quite often and was very helpful.
Let us all pray for the family. The 40th day of demise falls on Saturday.
We cannot blame the Church entirely for these kinds of tragic incidents. While the Church should try the best to find needy pesons, they should also approach the Church for helps. members of teh parish can also take initiative to inform the Church. We all need help one time or other.
Please get the facts. Do not blame the church or bishop without getting facts. We have a general tendency to put every problem as financial. There spirtual and emotional problems. some people are unable cope up with the pain they undergo.
So first get the fatcs right.
Thank you everyone your interest in helping a family in distress
TOM
Sirs
Can we get some details about the beraving family. Also something about their financial and other burdens
Census 2010 has just begun in Inia. Our Church should make a serious effort this year to find all the poor and needy members in all the parishes. This kind of incidents should never happen again. Those who need assistance should be classified and be given special pastoral care including financial.
Saju Kochi
Vilson, my point is not to blame any one but to highlight the need for individualized pastoral ministry, in our church. If there was a personal touch with the family in discussion, we could have the opportunity to give him the alternatives to suicide. ( I don’t mean to say that we could have prevented it, because misfortunes happens)
Yes, I do feel that we could avoid lengthy litigations (even if the other party brought all of them against us) by means of negotiations, mediations and reconciliation. The amount of money we save from such creative efforts may well be utilized for charitable projects.
I think Fr. Joy does not know the thing what happening around. Who told that our church (most of the religious) started the Medical college to help the poor but dreaming of Big donations from students and run hospital attached to medical college because it is a basic criteria for the college, Starting Engineering College not for helping at least some poor students but of donations from students, or even Normal college for the sale of teacher post as like in Bull Market.
So, achen should come to reality all what you written in the article can be god for some preachers for getting claps. But the above person (he died), if some ozone instead of approaching our church or any institutions run by churches directly approach Amrita Medical college, may be there u can have some thing but nowhere else.
If the church or our various organization come through such cases, if there is some room for publishing in various types of periodicals we have, the good Samaritans if they come across such posts may help in future (even chance for bogus requests).
“We spent millions of rupees to celebrate a silver jubilee or reception of a bishop elect or to celebrate a palli perunnal. I am not saying such celebrations are wrong … ”
I am saying that such celebrations are wrong. Absolutely wrong. And it is a disgrace to the straight, orthodox faith, that such utterly meaningless celebrations and useless evaporation of money occurs.
The bishops of the Church do not deserve any celebration as they — all of them — manifestly lack the saintly qualities that would warrant any celebration. Ironically, a saintly bishop would likely reject such celebration as well. So, celebrating a bishop is always a useless endeavor. What did the Saints (e.g., Mor Gregorios (Parumala and Pampady) do? They helped people. What do our bishops do? Fight meaningless and evil court cases, ordain pseudo-monks to the episcopate, eat healthy meals, and stamp their names on profit-making schools and colleges. Horrible, our bishops are. Unorthodox, false leaders, leading us away from the implementation of Christianity.
Money should not be wasted on profitless ventures, e.g., court cases, and celebration of worldly politician-bishops. Rather, we should use this money for further the goals of Christianity — helping those who need it.
Too bad none of our leaders — *none* of them — have any thing useful to provide in the latter respect.
it is indeed sad to read the story of an orthodox christian belonging to a parish in EKM committed suicide due to lack of money to take care of his illness.The orthodox community has grown tremendously over several decades with lots of hospitals, schools and organizations that provides help for the needy.Now a days all these institutions are there and the people who runs these have only one motive,JUST TO MAKE MORE MONEY.They are ignoring the fellowbeings and the needy of their own community.Now a days majority of Bishops and Priests forget about the individual(JESUS) on whom the Christianity is built and his service to the community is irrelevent to these hierarchy.When a common man/woman goes to any of these institution, first they ask them for DONATION for the CAPITATION FUND ,if they fail they wont get any admission in any colleges or any medical help from any hospitals.Members of any parishes knows this and that is why they dont approach the priests for help.There were incidents when DEAD BODIES on hold till clearing the Church dues. Some people know this is the only time that they can collect all the dues.ONLY SERMON IS THERE AND ONLY DOCTRINES ARE THERE,to make it practise the orthodox hierarchy is behind, WAY BEHIND